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"D" redirects here. For the speedy deletion template, see Template:D.

Not to be confused with Mysterious Old Man, Weird Old Man, Strange Old Man, or the Odd Old Man.

Wise Old Man

Release date	6 June 2005 (Update)
Race	Human
Members NPC?	No
Quest NPC?	Yes - Swan Song, Garden of Tranquility, Recipe for Disaster - Saving Sir Amik Varze
Location	Draynor Village
Sells items?	Sells the Quest point cape
Skill requirement?	No
Quest requirement?	No
Gender	Male
Examine	Before the Draynor Bank Robbery: A venerable sage. After: A venerable and rich sage. Snow Gnomecopters: A venerable and rich sage on holiday.
Notable features	Legendary Saradominist warrior (now retired), sage, and bank robber.

The Wise Old Man is known by his true name as Dionysius. When he was a young man, he was called Dissy. His name is possibly a reference to Dionysus, the Greek god of wine, or it may refer to Dionysius, a tyrant from the Greek ancient world. He signs his name as *D. He is a retired adventurer who has recently settled down in his house in Draynor Village, opposite Draynor bank. During his younger days, Dionysius was a famed hero, saving countless lives and fighting back the dark forces of Gielinor.

Dionysius, after years of adventuring the globe, has settled down in Draynor Village, where he initially lacked funds to purchase a decent house. However, after single-handedly masterminding the Draynor Bank Robbery, Dionysius' intentions and values are the subject of much speculation.

The Wise Old Man is amongst the most popular characters in RuneScape, playing roles in several quests and cutscenes. He is also a commonly recurring character in the Postbag from the Hedge, often having a special section at the end of each Postbag.

Several significant events in his life are detailed in Herman's book.

Past

The Wise Old Man was born in Varrock many years ago. During his time there, he performed numerous deeds that were considered heroic by the youth of the time. According to Elsie one of his more memorable actions was painting "Saradomin Pwns" on the Zamorakian Temple in the southern part of the town. When he turned 15, the age at which children of that time advanced to adulthood, he turned down a prestigious offer to study amongst the priests of Entrana and decided to travel the world before settling down. At some point before he retired, the Wise Old Man was also trained by the mage who had escaped Crandor, Lozar.

The Wise Old Man battling the notorious Troll, Dad.

He spent many years travelling RuneScape, visiting many lands and performing countless memorable actions. Most of his adventures have not been told in detail. One of the first areas he visited was the mines in and around Keldagrim, where some of the oldest dwarves still remember his aid in their war against a rogue tribe of trolls that threatened to destroy the city. Today, the trolls still wander near the entrance of Keldagrim but are unable to enter the city.

Shortly after leaving the dwarves, he travelled into the eastern mountains, where a now-disbanded mountain tribe told of an invincible warrior who wielded a powerful staff.

Some time after leaving the mountain tribes he travelled to Karamja, where he taught the natives of certain herbs that would aid them in combat. He also ventured into Brimhaven Dungeon, which few people at the time dared to enter. Afterwards, he advised the locals to charge any adventurer who wished to enter the dungeon, which is why Saniboch charges a fee of 875 coins for any player to enter.

The Wise Old Man kills an intoxicated Dwarf, presumably for pestering him and offering him unwanted food.

The Wise Old Man fighting the Kalphite Queen.

After countless adventures, Dionysius travelled back to Entrana to complete his studies. Even on Entrana he found excitement, when he ventured into the demon-infested dungeon beneath it. At one point, he was offered admittance to the Temple Knights. He is also the author of "Magicks Most Destructive"—a reference to the book regarding Horcruxes from the 7^th Harry Potter book,Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, named Magicks Most Evil—of which very few copies survive today, and only fragments of it remain in the Temple Knight library. There is a copy in the Chemist's house, but it is currently unreadable. Only many years later, after many more adventures, did he finally retire and settle down in Draynor Village.

During Recipe for Disaster, the ancient Gypsy Aris of Varrock refers to herself as the Wise Old Man's "bubbykins", indicating a possible romantic relationship between the two.

Dionysus tells the player that he and Ellamaria 'go way back', long before she was married to 'that fool', the King of Varrock, and suggests that you 'do the fastest run you can off the nearest pier you can find' when he discovers you are in her service.

The Wise Old Man Today

The Wise Old Man, plotting one of his schemes.

After completing his adventures, Dionysius began to feel bitter that he had not been adequately "rewarded" for his deeds, as he was forced to live in relative squalor. He thought that it was within his right, therefore, to reward himself, and uses this as justification for his crimes.

His most notorious act was the robbing of the local bank, killing several people in the process. One of these unfortunate victims, an NPC named Elfinlocks, dropped a blue partyhat, which the Wise Old Man claimed for himself due to its rarity and possible visual appeal. A player can watch the robbery's recording by speaking to the guard outside the bank. It can be watched once for free; afterwards, a fee of 50 coins must be paid in order to view it again. His telescope, which pointed to the bank prior to the robbery, is currently pointing towards the Wizards' Tower; his Strange book also notes that he is running short on runes and that the wizards have plenty, yet supplies him with none. Dionysus has grown desperate to attain runes even to the point of taking them directly from players who asks him to examine their runestones. In Postbag 12, the Wise Old Man confirms, after defending his morally dubious recent actions (as he did to the player), that he is indeed planning an assault there, despite his denials to players, and that the reason for doing so is that he is "short of runes these days" and that an excursion to the Tower could "solve my problem permanently." Yet, the Wise Old Man, despite all his power and skill, also admits he is reluctant to launch the attack, for "the powers of Wizard Traiborn are not to be underestimated" and his plans are "not yet finalised." Further evidence pointing to his planned attack lies in his own words of, "All good things come to those who wait, currently I'm interested in...local...concerns." when a suggestion and plan for him to assault and scour the Elven city of Prifddinas was sent to him.

In the distant past, when I travelled the world solving people's problems and saving those in distress just as you do today, I held the hope that my efforts would be appreciated and met with appropriate gratitude. But what did I get? When I grew old and the time came for me to retire, I found myself forced into this poxy shack in Draynor Village, neighboured by a pigment-obsessed hag and a 'navigator' whose prowess at knitting exceeds his ability to steer a boat. Not to mention the constant flow of unashamed thieves through the village market! (The hideous harpy who sits gawking through my window will gladly show you a picture of the house as it was when I first came here.) My meek and placid nature notwithstanding, I realised that if I did not take my reward for myself, I would receive nothing at all. So I took up my trusty staff and headed for the bank. I am sure you would be likewise frustrated beyond belief if you were to dedicate a lifetime's effort to the service of others and receive no reward.

— Wise Old Man

The Temple Knights, realising how dangerous he is, are currently monitoring him, and have labelled him as an ultraviolet archangel threat. The Bank of RuneScape, the guards of Draynor Village, and many of the locals are also monitoring him closely, though he does not seem to be worried about this. Despite this and obvious proof of his crimes, the authorities of Misthalin have, as of yet, made no attempt to bring him to justice, probably because they know how powerful he is.

The Wise Old Man will search a player's bank for unneeded non-members quest items. If he is asked to examine any of the cheaper runes, he will say they are useful and take a few of them. If he is asked to examine more expensive ones, however, such as Death Runes or Nature runes, he will just say that it's quite valuable. He has a few unique books on his bookshelf which the player can read. One, the Book on chickens, is about the legend of the Evil chicken, while the Strange book has personal notes which mention that he is running out of runes. He also has numerous tinderboxes in his house. His house also includes a model aeroplane and unique, gold-trimmed Saradomin armour, which, according to the Strange Book, he had trimmed with some of his stolen money.

The Wise Old Man also has a Saradomin staff. When players ask him about Zaros, the Menaphite Pantheon, or Armadyl, he denies their existence, though from his frantic responses it appears that he has indeed heard of them and their vast power. Apparently, he is a Saradominist who only believes (or at least only openly admits to) in three gods: Saradomin, Guthix, and Zamorak.

A player kicking the Wise Old Man's bed.

The Wise Old Man at Clan Wars.

In members' worlds, the player can do favours for the Wise Old Man, such as getting him swords or bars, or delivering notes. If the player completes these tasks, he will reward him/her. Most of the time the reward is a blessing, which increases the player's Prayer experience, or a small amount of runes, seeds, herbs or coins may be given. One of these tasks require the player to fight a monster under his bed, after which he will reward the player with some Hitpoints experience.

The Quest point Cape of Achievement is available from the Wise Old Man for a fee to players who have completed all the quests. The Wise Old Man is also an integral part of the Swan Song quest. Oddly enough, he is the only character that does not wear the Cape of Accomplishment that he sells, most likely due to the fact that he has not done any of the more recent quests.

The Wise Old Man briefly appeared at the Clan Wars Minigame (on 29 September 2008). He took it upon himself to warn players that gravestones had been removed from the Dangerous Clan Wars portal, meaning they will lose items upon death. It has been suggested that Dionysius still travels to a lesser degree; Romeo mentions that he saw Dionysius at some point after the Draynor Robbery in Varrock, where he left behind a moonclan cape. ^[1]

Dionysus appears none too fond of the organization known as H.A.M., despite it mainly consisting of Saradominists like himself, calling them "ridiculously attired xenophobes", and his liking of them is even lessened still by his suspicion that the creature under his bed is "a subterranean creature forced out of its natural habitat".

Along with this, among the possible jobs the Wise Old Man will assign a player, one of them includes delivering a letter to one of the following:

1. Oracle on Ice Mountain.
2. Reldo, Librarian of Varrock.
3. Abbot Langley of the Monastery.
4. High Priest of Entrana.
5. Thurgo on south of Port Sarim.

This indicates that the Wise Old Man knows these famous figures through out Gielinor, and that they, to some extent, know him. He corresponds with them somewhat frequently. Dionysus has expressed distaste for his neighbors, such as the witch Aggie, the sailor and knitter Ned and the suspicious and gossiping Miss Schism.

Leisure

Dionysius sledding down Trollweiss Mountain.

Enjoying his visit to the spa in Oo'glog.

Despite his bitterness, Dionysius in old age still does enjoy the occasional trip to foreign lands. He has travelled far and wide. He's recently visited areas such as Trollweiss Mountain (seen sledding during the now discontinued Gnomecopter Tours) and Oo'glog (to enjoy the new spa facilities and local hospitality). Dionysus appears to take much joy in drinking, even expressing the hope that the Bank of RuneScape will one day close its outlying branches and the Council will turn them into "trendy wine-bars".

Skills and Abilities

Magical and Combat Abilities

Dionysius' most distinguished talent is his magical ability, which he has honed over the years learning from countless sources. Amongst his arsenal is the spell Saradomin Strike, a difficult-to-use attack that draws from the power of Saradomin himself. This spell, already lethal in any Mage's hands, has been amplified by Dionysius, and is capable of dealing more damage than initially thought possible, easily able to hit 40s, (while the maximum damage for players using Saradomin Strike is 30, when using the Charge spell. Also, in the Swan Song quest, it shows that his Saradomin Strike actually runs on one Mist rune, Lava rune, and a half blood rune, saying that it is heavily modified as casting a half Blood rune is impossible, and it also uses all four basic elemental runes. One regular Saradomin Strike runs on 2 fire and blood runes, along with 4 air runes. This excludes the Saradomin Staff requirement.) His signature offensive ability, though, is a spell of unknown nature that, when used, instantly incinerates the flesh, muscle, and organs of the victim. This spell, apart from being lethal, is also capable of destroying brick walls and virtually any other obstacle in its way.

Although he has a plethora of magical weapons at his disposal, Dionysius has openly displayed very few of them. He has shown his abilities extend beyond simple combat, capable of using Telekinetic Grab and other basic spells with ease. He has also delved deep into the art of mental magic, and can push those attempting to scry into his mind away while simultaneously dealing a powerful counter-attack. As an example, when the NPC Contact Lunar Spell is set to "Random NPC", it may sometimes yield a conversation with the Wise Old Man. When contacted, though, he will force them out of his mind, stating "Keep your foreign Magicks out of my head!" His calling of the Lunar spell thus may imply that he himself has garnered minimal knowledge of the mystic lore in the Lunar spellbook. The Wise Old Man, upon breaking the Lunar spell, will then direct a Fire Wave from afar at the player, whose location he can apparently pinpoint, across vast distances and even into other dimensions. Dionysus also denies the very existence of Zaros's Ancient Magicks, calling the adventurer a "foul trickster" and their words "foolishness" should one mention them to him. He has also displayed a knack for alchemy and other strange divisions of magic, as is evident in his cryptic writings.

Dionysius also possesses a deep understanding of teleportation, seeming to be aware of the Abyss and its role in the teleportation process. The only Mage known to do so, Dionysius implements teleportation liberally in combat, confusing his opponents by teleporting all around them and launching attacks from all sides. He is also capable of teleporting to virtually any destination, rather than using only those simple channels utilised by most teleporters.

Even in his advanced age, Dionysius is extremely adept at hand-to-hand combat and is in peak shape. In combat, he has shown that even without using magic, he is capable of defeating the strongest of foes. His skill in using basic weaponry is unrivalled, and he has proven himself able to defeat even armed foes using only a staff. He also possesses a lethal kick, which has been shown capable of shattering even the shell of the Kalphite Queen. According to Dionysius, he is even now capable of wrestling Crocodiles on the banks of the River Elid. He has been recorded being hit by 254 damage during the Swan Song quest, without his Hitpoints bar even showing damage, although it does incapacitate him for the remainder of the battle.

Knowledge and Skills

During his adventures, Dionysius gained a deep understanding of the world, learning of its histories and nature. What he learned, though, he often will not share openly, and he seems to possess historical knowledge that, in the wrong hands, could be deadly. He seems to have learned of the god Zaros during his time in the Kharidian Desert, and today attempts to cover up any information relating to the banished god.

Dionysius has also displayed a fluent understanding of multiple languages, ranging from tribal Karamjan to the ancient Dwarvish tongue. Though he most often speaks simple English, he often mixes Latin into his speech, such as Vini; volui; mihi est (I came; I wanted; it's mine). This is a reference to the famous Roman phrase Veni, Vidi, Vici (I came, I saw, I conquered)

Despite his extraordinary proficiency with the mystic arts of Gielinor, it does not appear to rival the Wise Old Man's knowledge about Runecrafting; Dionysus himself has confessed he is running short on runes, which the skilled Runecrafting has less of an issue with, and is eager to buy Sedridor's notes and Aubury's Research Package (albeit for one coin), commenting, "How exciting - a study in the origin of runes!", which Dionysus would not likely require if indeed he lacked not such lore.

During his travels, Dionysius often shunned training in favour of monetary payment. Despite this, he has shown a good understanding of virtually any skill, particularly Cooking.

Dionysus is immune to the effects of the Ring of Charos, a feat equaling that of the strong-willed Vampyres, despite the fact that it was he himself who had activated the ring.

Dionysus, according to the ever-watchful Miss Schism, once possessed "a scruffy old black thing" (also shown in flashbacks of the Wise Old Man's earlier days), but, after downing Elfinlocks, obtained a Blue party hat.

Draynor Bank Robbery

Main article: Draynor Bank Robbery

Below is a gallery of images documenting the bank robbery in order from first to last in the scene. It is interesting to note that even after the High Detail update, in which the graphics for teleports were changed, he still uses the old graphics.

Dionysius prior to the Draynor bank robbery.	Dionysius exiting his house.	Dionysius heading towards the bank.	Dionysius breaking into the bank.
Dionysius killing any possible witnesses.	Dionysius telegrabbing his new blue partyhat.	Dionysius destroying the camera, ending the recording.	A player looking through the Dionysius's telescope. Is he planning an assault on the Wizards Tower?

Item Examinations and Offers

• Money - That's called 'money'. Money is fantastically important if you've haven't got enough of it, but when you've got as much as I have, you realise money doesn't matter.
• Runes - Runes are very useful things, but I'll take some off your hands for you. (Usually takes five runes from the kind of runes you show him; if you have less than five runes, he shall take whatever number you have of it.)
• Combat items (Weapons and most stat-boosting items) - I suppose you could use that in combat.
• Armour (of any kind, ranging from mere capes and boots to metal armour) - I suppose you could use that for defence.
• Monk's robes and Priest gown - Your prayer points should drain more slowly if you've got that equipped. I think you'll find that quite useful.
• Wise Old Man's books (Strange book and Book of Folklore) - That's mine. I'll take it back, thank you very much!
• Rat's tail - You have brought me the tail of a rat! Take the blasted thing away and get rid of it yourself!
• Any Silverlight key (during Demon Slayer) - That's a key to the box where Silverlight was stored. Yes, I think you should keep it for now.
• Stake (during Vampire Slayer) - A pointy stick for impaling vampires? Yes, I think you should keep it for now.
• Portrait - It's a picture of Sir Vyvin, a White Knight of Falador. I don't think you'll be needing that. I'll give you 1 gp for it.
• Ring of Charos - The ring of Charos! This definitely a valuable item. Yes, I think you should keep it for now.
• If you have not yet talked to him - Humph! You could at least say hello before waving your items in my face!

Bank Checking

• Rat's tail - You actually stored something from a rat's bottom in your bank? Get rid of it!
• Beads (any kind) - Now that Wizard Mizgog's got his beads back, you don't need to store more of those beads in your bank unless you're planning to go to a member's world and use them for hunting imps.
• Research package - Sedridor's research into the mysteries of the runes is very interesting, but you don't need it.

Unknown

• Ashes
• Brass necklace
• Tile
• Plank
• Chef's hat
• Shears
• Antique lamp
• Flier

Offers to Purchase

• Silverlight (80 coins)
• Goblin mail (16 coins)
• Red goblin mail (60 coins)
• Green goblin mail (60 coins)
• Beads (15 coins each)
• Blurite sword (6 coins)
• Notes and Research package (1 coin each)
• Cadava berries (1 coin each)
• Portrait (1 coin)

Dialogue

Trivia

• The poster of the Wise Old Man in the 28^th issue of the Postbag from the Hedge is a reference to the British war posters of Lord Kitchener in the First World War.
• During the 2008 Hallowe'en event, whenever a player tried to trick-or-treat the Wise Old Man, the player would say "Trick or tr—" before being interrupted (by the Wise Old Man) stating "Don't even think about it." The players were unable to receive anything from him.
• A glitch in the recording allows players to look into his empty house during the recording.
• The Wise Old Man is the only one of the skillcape sellers who does not wear the skillcape he sells. This is probably because he claimed to stop doing quests after Swan Song. This would mean that he didn't complete any newer quests and is unable to wear the skillcape.
• During the Swan Song quest, the Wise Old Man is seen using the old teleport emote, which was updated with the release of RuneScape HD.
• The name Dionysius may be an alteration of the name of the Greek god of wine, possession, and drama, Dionysus.
• In the 22^nd issue of the Postbag from the Hedge, there is a reference to the TV show 24 in the Wise Old Achievements section at the bottom.
• If a player Right-clicks on The Wise Old Man and selects 'Walk Here', nothing happens, even though an impling can walk over him.
• If a book from The Wise Old Man's shelf is used on him he will say "That's mine. I'll take it back, thank you very much!" and all books belonging to him are removed from the players' inventory.
• There seems to be a Saradomin Staff next to the door within his house in Draynor village.
• The Wise Old Man seems to have a long beard but his chathead depicts him having a smaller beard.

Related Pages

• Old man's message: the delivery message given by the Wise Old Man
• Old man: other NPCs being referred to as "Old Man"
• Wise Old Man Tasks: a list and guide to the tasks he assigns

References

Featured article
January 2009

Mr. Mordaut thinks that many things are dumb. However, the editors who wrote this article clearly were not. In fact, it was written so well that it is one of the few selected articles currently featured on the Main page.