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Season 5, Episode 13 - "Some Like It Hoth"

Written by: Melinda Hsu Taylor & Greggory Nations

Directed by: Jack Bender


Act 1

[A seven-segmented red LED clock on a 1980s microwave oven reads 3:16. A hand tests the handle of the microwave.]

TREVOR: Comes fully equipped.

[Inside of a small, empty apartmentment unit, Trevor, an older man, casually leans against the counter, as a middle-aged Asian woman with a purse checks things out. By "fully equipped", the man means that the kitchen has an oven with a range, a sink barely big enough to wash a hand in (let alone a dish), and the microwave. The woman turns the faucet on and off to test it.]

TREVOR: I'm telling you, it's a steal at $400.

[A siren wails in the distance. The woman looks through the other rooms.]

TREVOR: What, you gotta check with your husband?

WOMAN: It's just me.

BOY: Mommy?

[A boy stands in the outer doorway, just outside the apartment, in the building's courtyard.]

BOY: Can I have a quarter for the vending machine?

WOMAN: Honey, I said wait for me by the pool.

TREVOR: I thought you said it was "just me."

WOMAN: I meant my husband's out of the picture. It's just me and my son.

TREVOR: [Shaking his head] I don't know. Most of the other tenants--they don't like noise.

[She puts her hand on her boy's shoulder.]

WOMAN: He's very quiet.

TREVOR: I'm gonna need two months up front.

[She reaches into her purse and produces a quarter for her son.]

WOMAN: Here, honey.

[He takes it and runs away. The woman catches the unpleased glare of the landlord, and calls after her son.]

WOMAN: Hey, no running! You hear me, Miles?

[The obedient little boy slows up to a walk. Birds chirp and, distantly, a car alarm sounds. The boy crosses through the the fence that borders a small swimming pool--"NO LIFEGUARD ON DUTY" sign displayed--then stops short of a snack vending machine and a beverage vending machine. A flash of a vision comes to the boy: a hand laying dead on a floor next to an overturned plate of a sandwich and potato chips, and a TV remote control. A white-haired man toppled from his couch, his TV tray beside him. Ghostly whispering and whooshing sounds accompany the images. The boy zeros in on the source: an apartment door with a plate marking it number 4. Miles passes back through the fence and walks up to the door, putting his hand on it, as if testing for fire behind it. He closes his eyes. Taking his hand off the door, he steps back and lifts up a small garden ornament--a stone white rabbit that seems to have the number 8 engraved in its ear--to find an apartment key underneath. The key in the doorknob, Miles turns with both hands, and opens the door slowly with a creak. Back in the empty apartment, Miles' mother, Lara makes out a check for $800 on the kitchen counter, when she hears her boy calling for her.]

MILES: Mom! Mommy! Help!

[Lara runs out of the apartment and rounds the corner, searching for the source of her son's voice. Trevor the landlord follows.]

MILES: Mommy!

[Lara pushes open the open door of apartment 4.]

LARA: Miles?

[She finds her son standing in the living room over the body of the man from Miles's visions.]

LARA: Miles, what happened?

MILES: Mommy!

TREVOR: Oh, God. Mr. Vonner.

[She runs to her son and takes him by the shoulders while Trevor examines the body of Mr. Vonner.]

LARA: What were you doing in here?

MILES: He... he was all alone. He was scared. His chest hurt. He kept calling out for Kimberly.

TREVOR: Kimberly? That's his wife. No, she died last year. Now, how would you know that?

MILES: I heard him.

LARA: Miles, what are you talking about?

MILES: He's still talking right now.

[Mr. Vonner is clearly in no condition to speak.]

LARA: Honey... he's dead.

MILES: I told you! I can hear him! I can hear him!

[Miles shouts, covering his ears and shutting his eyes tight.]

[In 1977, Miles, in a DHARMA Initiative security jumpsuit, sits in the Security Center, engrossed in reading Sports Illustrated, the cover of which reads, "After 23 years... NEW BOSS IN L.A." and features a picture of "Tom Lasorda".]

SAWYER: [Over walkie-talkie] Miles, you there? Pick up.

[Miles puts down the magazine and picks up his radio.]

MILES: Jim, where the hell are you?

[Out on the Island, Sawyer walks with Kate. They approach the perimeter of sonar fence pylons where, just within, they had left a blue DHARMA van.]

SAWYER: I'll fill you in later. Right now I need you to take care of something.

MILES: Like what?

SAWYER: The security tapes from the pylon camera feeds. They need to accidentally get erased.

[Sawyer bends down to enter the sonar fence deactivation code into the control panel at the base of one of the pylons.]

MILES: Erased? Why?

SAWYER: I ain't got time for questions, Miles. Just do it.

MILES: Okay. Okay. Uh, which ones?

SAWYER: Look on your monitors.

[Miles looks up, tossing the Sports Illustrated issue onto the typewriter desk where he sits. He gets out of his chair and steps over to the bank of eight security monitors. His attention is drawn to the upper-right black-and-white monitor.]

SAWYER: You see us?

[On the monitor, Sawyer stands with his hands out. He and Kate are inside the sonar fence with the DHARMA van.]

MILES: Yeah. You're on number 4. Is that Kate? What the hell are you doing out there?

SAWYER: Just erase number 4. And if anyone asks, I'm off the grid. I'm looking for the escaped Hostile.

MILES: You mean your pal Sayid?

SAWYER: Damn it, Miles! You gonna help me or not?!

MILES: Yeah, yeah. I got it.

SAWYER: All right. I owe you one.

[Kate has seated herself behind the driver's wheel of a DHARMA van. Another DHARMA van sits behind hers. Sawyer talks to her through the window.]

SAWYER: [To Kate] All right, I want you to go back and and find Juliet, see if anyone's noticed yet if Little Ben's gone missin'.

KATE: What are you gonna do when they find out?

SAWYER: Do my best to cover it up. In case you haven't noticed, [points to the embroidery on his jumpsuit] I'm Head of Security.

[Kate smiles.]

SAWYER: All right, I'll see you back there.

[Sawyer heads over to the other van.]

[Back in the Security Center, a U-Matic tape deck marked with the number 4 sits at timecode 03:17:51:19. A tape ejects with a whir; it is labeled "DHARMA SURVEILLANCE TAPE GND-2398923-CTP4" and has spaces to write in "CAMERA #" and "DATE", which have been filled in, respectively, "4" and "N/A". Miles is about to reach for the tape when Horace bursts in through the door carrying a package.]

HORACE: Where's LaFleur?

[Miles stands up and walks over to the monitor bank.]

MILES: Uh, he's, uh, out looking for the escaped prisoner. I tried to get him on his walkie, but...

[Miles picks up the walkie. The knob clicks as he turns it.]

MILES: Uh, he must be out of range.

[Horace adjusts his eyeglasses in frustration.]

HORACE: [Sighs] Damn it. All right. Then it's gonna have to be you. Jim already knows about this, but I'm gonna bring you into the circle of trust. Can I trust you, Miles?

MILES: [Shaking his head] Absolutely, Horace.

HORACE: Okay. Good. I need you to take this out to Radzinsky at grid 3-34.

[Horace hands miles the package, something about 2 feet long and oblong, wrapped in a black pouch.]

HORACE: He's gonna give you something in return. I want you to bring it back to me with no questions asked. You understand?

[Horace walks away and around to the typewriter desk, where he finds a clipboard of papers to flip through.]

MILES: Um... we're not supposed to be in 3-3-4. Isn't that Hostile territory?

HORACE: Welcome to the circle of trust.

[Miles signals a "you got it" by pointing his walkie at Horace, and walks away. The tape to camera 4 sits ejected in the U-Matic tape deck.]

[Out on the Island, Miles motors along a dirt path in a DHARMA van. A man in a black jumpsuit jumps out into his path pointing a rifle at him. It's Radzinsky.]

RADZINSKY: Stop right there!

[Miles slams on the brakes and the tires skid. The van stops several paces short of Radzinsky. Miles puts his hands up.]

RADZINSKY: Miles?! What are you doing out here?! I was expecting LaFleur.

MILES: [Leaning out the window of the van] LaFleur's busy. Horace sent me instead. I'm in the circle of trust.


[Miles does so, bringing the package with him. Radzinsky shoulders his rifle.]

MILES: I'm supposed to give you this. And he said you had something for me.

[Radzinsky puts his fingers to his mouth and whistles. He removes the package's pouch and unfurls what looks like a black plastic mat on the ground. Two hard-hatted men come out of the jungle carrying a dead man on a strercher. The man, with curly hair and a beard, looks to have a fatal head wound. He has streaks of dried blood down his face. Birds squawk in the background.]

MILES: What happened to him?

RADZINSKY: He had an accident.

[Radzinsky's dark jumpsuit has a Swan patch on it. The two workers unfold the "package", which is now clear to be a body bag, and work at putting the dead man in it.]

MILES: What kind of accident?

RADZINSKY: He fell into a ditch.

MILES: Is that a bullet hole in his head? The ditch had a gun?

RADZINSKY: [Getting in Miles's face] It doesn't matter what happened to him... because knowing that is not your job--your job is to do what I tell you to.

[The two men load the body into Miles's van while Radzinsky keeps watch.]

RADZINSKY: Take him back to Horace now, Miles.

[Miles gets in his van. The workers close up the van's hatchback and go back into the jungle. As soon as they and Radzinsky are gone, Miles turns around in the van and removes the canvas tarp covering the body bag, then unzips the body bag to get a good look at the man's face.]

MILES: [Lowered voice] Okay... so what really happened?

Act 2

[Miles Straume knocks on the door of apartment 7 at the same Southern California apartment building seen earlier. He wears a red plaid hooded jacket with an upside-down numeral 1 on the back, jeans, boots, and a print patterned T-shirt. His black hair is spiked up rebelliously with a gray streak through it, and he has 4 piercings in his right ear, 3 piercings on his chin (including a pointy spike that protrudes straight out), 1 in his right nostril, 2 in his left eyebrow, and 5 on his left ear, for a total of 15 piercings on his face. Children shout indistinctly in the distance. A middle-aged woman named Evelyn answers the door; she wears pink nurse's scrubs and a look of mixed surprise and scorn.]

MILES: I need to see her.

[Evelyn stands aside and Miles enters the apartment. The bedroom looks more like a hospital room, with chairs arranged around a bed where a very ill-looking Lara lies, much of her hair having fallen out. Prescription pill bottles line a bed-table, an end table, and the headboard stand. Various other medical apparatus sits strewn about the room; a few bags of fluid hang from an IV pole. Also on the headboard stand are a few framed family photographs showing Miles as a child, one of them with Lara and another with a man wearing a shirt and tie. Artwork of a galloping mare and foal is displayed over the bed. Miles sits down in a bedside chair. His mother's eyes are closed.]

MILES: Ma? [Voice breaks] It's me.

[Lara comes to and exhales deeply.]

LARA: [Weakly] Miles.

MILES: [Taking her hand] I'm--I'm sorry that... I couldn't make it by sooner.

LARA: It's okay. You're here now. Why did you come, Miles?

MILES: I need you to tell me why I'm this way... how... how I do the things I do. And I need to know why you won't talk to me about my father.

LARA: Because he never cared about us... never cared about you.

MILES: I need to know where he is, Ma.

LARA: It doesn't matter where.

MILES: It does matter.

LARA: Miles, please.

MILES: I have a right to know!

LARA: He's dead.

[Miles releases his mother's hand in shock.]

LARA: Your father... kicked us out when you were just a baby. He didn't want anything to do with us. So the less you knew about him, the better.

[Miles's lower lip trembles as he tries to comprehend this news.]

MILES: Why didn't you just tell me?

LARA: Because it was over. Your dad has been dead a long time.

MILES: Where's his body?

LARA: Somewhere you can never go.

[Back in 1977, Miles runs down the steps into the Security Center to find Horace speaking on the telephone.]

HORACE: Pierre, if it was caused by the electromagnetism, we need to know. You wanna see it now? Y--yeah, he just got back. I'll send him out with it right away. Okay!

[Horace slams the receiver down.]

HORACE: Did you bring the package?

MILES: "Package"? You mean the corpse?

HORACE: Yeah. Now I need you to bring it out to Dr. Chang at the Orchid.

[Miles shakes his head. Horace reaches for a binder from a shelf.]

MILES: Listen, man. I'm security. If you just need somebody to drive the van, can't someone from the motor pool do it?

HORACE: [Forcefully] If I wanted someone from the motor pool, I would have asked them. And since LaFleur decided to disappear, you're all I've got. So just bring it out to Dr. Chang, and we'll all call it a day. Okay?

[Miles turns and exits.]

[Outside at the motor pool, Hurley, wearing a tan DHARMA Initiative jumpsuit with his name (and his title, "Chef") embroidered on it, opens the hatchback of a DHARMA van and begins loading it with a couple of stainless steel coolers.]

MILES: Hey! What the hell are you doing?! That's my van!

HURLEY: Nah, dude, I just signed it out.

MILES: Doesn't matter. It's mine.

HURLEY: Well, where you going?

[Miles removes the cooler Hurley just put in, while Hurley loads the second cooler.]

MILES: The Orchid.

HURLEY: Me too. I made lunch for the crew. Sandwiches. Want one? Ham and cheese, and I made my secret garlic mayo.

MILES: You're waiting for the next van.

[Hurley picks up the first cooler to put it back in.]

HURLEY: Why? We're going to the same place. Why don't we carpool? It'll help with global warming, which hasn't happened yet, so maybe we can prevent it. ...Wait a sec. Are you on some kind of secret mission?

MILES: Just get in.

[Miles closes the hatchback on the two coolers and the "package".]

[Inside the Infirmary, Juliet opens a cabinet to stock some supplies. Kate walks in through the door.]



JULIET: How'd it go?

KATE: We gave him to them--to the Others.

[Kate sits down.]

JULIET: Anyone see you?

KATE: I don't think so.

JULIET: Did James help?

KATE: Yes. Thank you so much for sending him.

JULIET: Of course.

[Roger Linus bursts into the Infirmary carrying a crate of medical supplies.]

ROGER: Hey. [Panting] I got here as soon as I could. [Exhales deeply] All the vans were out, so I had to ru--

[Roger sees an empty bed.]

ROGER: Where's Ben? Did he...

JULIET: No! No, Roger.

[Roger walks through the empty Infirmary, inspecting.]

ROGER: Then where is he?

JULIET: Roger, I--I'm so sorry. I--I was gone for ten minutes. I--I--I don't know.

ROGER: What? You--you said he was dying. How could he be gone?

JULIET: I don't know! I'm--Roger--

ROGER: [To Kate] What is she telling me, that he just got up and walked out?

KATE: I don't know. I just got here--

ROGER: You're his doctors! You're supposed to watch him!

JULIET: I know. I know. Roger, if we just calm down--

ROGER: Don't tell me to calm down! Somebody came and took my boy out of here?!

JULIET: I know. I am so sorry.

ROGER: I'm going to Security.

[Looking back over his shoulder at the two women as he storms out, Roger knocks over a tray of medical instruments. The door slams behind him.]

JULIET: [Looking at Kate] Well... here we go.

[Juliet walks away.]

Act 3

[Miles's blue DHARMA van cruises down a dirt path cut through the vegetation on the Island. Albert Hammond's "It Never Rains In Southern California" plays on the DHARMA van's stereo. Hurley sits in the passenger seat, scribbling in a DHARMA Initiative brand composition notebook. The logo on the notebook figures an apple on a stack of books. The logo on Hurley's jumpsuit patch shows a chef's hat over a crossed knife and fork.]

STEREO: Got on board a westbound 747...

HURLEY: How do you spell "bounty hunter"?

MILES: What are you doing, writing your memoirs?

[Hurley defensively snaps the composition book closed.]

HURLEY: It's personal.

[Hurley goes back to writing. Later, he looks up at Miles again.]

HURLEY: Dude... did you just... you know?

MILES: What?

HURLEY: You know. It stinks. Did you...


HURLEY: Well, it wasn't me.

MILES: So roll down your window.

[Hurley rolls down his window.]

HURLEY: Nah, man, there's something foul in here. It's coming from back there.

MILES: Maybe it's your famous garlic mayo.

HURLEY: Unh-unh. That's not possible.

[Hurley looks worriedly at Miles.]

HURLEY: Okay, maybe it is possible. Pull over. I gotta check.

MILES: Forget it. You're imagining things.

HURLEY: I gotta check. If those sandwiches are bad, people could get sick.

[Hurley tries to crawl out of his seat and into the back, but he finds he's just too big.]

HURLEY: Will you pull over?!

[Miles stops. The engine idles and turns off; the music turns off with it. Hurley hobbles out and opens the hatchback. Following his nose, he shifts around the coolers and feels the "package". He throws aside its canvas covering. Miles has stepped out of the van and joined him. Hurley feels the body bag.]

HURLEY: Dude, there's a body bag back here. With a body in it.

MILES: That's traditionally what you put in a body bag.

HURLEY: Yeah, well, who is he? What happened?

MILES: Don't worry about it and don't tell anybody you saw him.

HURLEY: Dude, what happened to him?

[Miles re-covers the body bag with the canvas tarp and scoots the cooler back into place.]

MILES: His name's Alvarez. He was digging a hole and thinking about some chick named Andréa. Then he felt this sharp pain in his mouth, which turned out to be a filling from his tooth being yanked right out of its socket and... blowing through his brain. Then he was dead.

HURLEY: How does a filling get blown through someone's head?

MILES: Got me. Can we go now?

[Miles closes the hatchback and heads back to the driver's seat.]

HURLEY: How do you know all this?

MILES: Because... I know.

HURLEY: Yeah, but how do you know what he was thinking?

MILES: I just know.

HURLEY: You can talk to dead people.

[Miles gets in and shuts the door.]

MILES: Can we please just go?

HURLEY: [Stepping up to Miles's window] Don't worry, dude. Your secret's safe with me. You wanna know why?


HURLEY: 'Cause I can talk to 'em, too.

[Miles looks at Hurley, finally making eye contact with him. Hurley taps Miles's door and goes around the van.]

[Miles holds a framed photograph of a teenage man with close-cropped blond hair kneeling on a green grass field in a blue and gold football uniform and holding a football helmet. The player's number is 59. Miles sits at a picnic table in a backyard in Southern California. Laundry hangs from a clothesline, and a push lawnmower sits waiting to be used. A stocky middle-aged bald man sits across from Miles at the picnic table.]

MILES: If you don't mind, Mr. Gray, can you tell me what happened to him?

MR. GRAY: Last Labor Day weekend, drunk driver ran the light. That was that.

MILES: Where is your son buried?

MR. GRAY: We cremated him, scattered the ashes on the football field at school.

[At this news, Miles looks apprehensive, full of reservation.]

MILES: For what I do, it's much better if there's a body.

MR. GRAY: Oh, but your ad said you could communicate with the dead anytime, anywhere.

MILES: I--I know what my ad says, Mr. Gray, but it--

MR. GRAY: Please. I just want you to ask him... did he know that I loved him?

MILES: It's gonna cost extra.

MR. GRAY: Of course.

[Mr. Gray reaches into his pocket and pulls out a black wallet. He thumbs through a wad of six or eight hundred-dollar bills and hands the whole wad to Miles.]

MR. GRAY: Thank you.

[Miles folds the bills several and puts them into the inner pocket of his brown blazer.]

MILES: Uh... okay, now... please give me your hands.

[Miles takes one of Mr. Gray's hands in each of his own.]

MILES: I want you to concentrate on Russell. Just get a picture of him in your head. Can you do that?

MR. GRAY: Yeah. Okay.

[Miles looks down for a few moments, then looks up.]

MR. GRAY: Did it work?

MILES: Your son says he knew that you loved him. He always knew.

[Mr. Gray inhales and exhales deeply.]

MR. GRAY: Thank you.

MILES: I'm sorry for your loss.

[Miles gets up from the picnic table and picks up his brown ghostbuster device case from the bench. He heads out to his old and rusted car, pops the trunk, and throws the ghostbuster device case inside.]

NAOMI: Excuse me. Miles Straume?

[Naomi approaches from the front of the car.]

MILES: Yeah.

[The trunk slams.]

NAOMI: Hi. My name's Naomi Dorrit.

[Naomi hands Miles a business card.]

NAOMI: My employer's been following your work for some time now, and he's interested in retaining your rather unique services.

[Miles nods faintly.]

NAOMI: There's a restaurant not too far from here. Would you like to hear what I have to say?

MILES: Yeah. Absolutely.

[Naomi walks off and Miles follows her.]

[Back at the Barracks in 1977, it is midday and indistinct conversations can be heard amongst all the activity. Roger Linus sits on a playground swing, swigging beer. He chucks one can and pops open another. It fizzes and he blows off the foam. Kate sees him and approaches furtively, compassionately.]

KATE: Hi, Roger.

[Roger waves a finger, not looking at her.]

KATE: You okay?

ROGER: [Scoffs] Let me see... Well, my son got shot and now he's disappeared, so... I think I'm pretty far from okay.

KATE: [Sitting down on the swing next to him] You know, I'm sure... things are gonna work out.

[Roger hands her a beer and she pops open the pop-top.]

ROGER: Well, thanks for the pep talk.

KATE: I just have a feeling he's gonna be okay.

ROGER: What do you mean, a feeling?

KATE: I just don't think that you should give up hope.

ROGER: Do you know something? Do you know what happened to my son?

KATE: No, I don't.

[She gets up, and Roger gets up too.]

ROGER: Wait a minute. Why are you so interested in my kid?

KATE: You know, I'm sorry I came over here, all right? I was just trying to help.

ROGER: Oh, you're trying to help, huh? You wanna help, Kate?! Well, why don't you just mind your own business?

[Miles and Hurley come over a grass hill in their DHARMA van. Captain & Tennille's "Love Will Keep Us Together" plays on the stereo. Inside, Hurley continues writing in his composition book.]

STEREO: Love / Love will keep us together...

HURLEY: I don't know why you just won't admit it. You can trust me. I talk to lots of dead people.

MILES: [Incredulously] So, you have conversations with them, like they're your pals?

HURLEY: Sure, all the time. Sometimes we even play chess.

MILES: You actually see them?

HURLEY: Of course. Why wouldn't I?

MILES: Because that's not how it works.

HURLEY: Aha! You wouldn't know how it works unless you can do it.

MILES: What I can do has nothing to do with chatting with ghosts, you nitwit. It's a... feeling... a sense. When somebody's dead, their brain stops functioning, which means there's no more talking. There's just who they were and whatever they knew before they died.

HURLEY: [Turning back to his composition book] That's how it works for me.

MILES: Great. I'm happy for you.

HURLEY: You're just jealous my powers are better than yours.

MILES: We're here. Now shut the hell up and deliver your damn sandwiches.

[The van pulls up to the Orchid greenhouse, still under construction. Workers carry cable, saw wood beams, wheelbarrow materials, and shout indistinctly to each other (the only distinct thing that can be heard in the chatter is "...we're ready for him"). Miles shuts off the engine. Hurley and Miles get out of the van. Miles spots Dr. Pierre Chang walking out of the greenhouse superstructure. Hurley opens the hatchback and they each grab a cooler, setting them on the ground. Dr. Chang walks up to them.]

DR. CHANG: [To Miles, referring to Hurley] What's he doing here?

MILES: Um, he came to deliver lunch to the work crew.

DR. CHANG: Lunch? Your instructions were to come alone.

[Dr. Chang goes to the body in the trunk, but turns when he hears Hurley.]

HURLEY: Don't worry. I won't tell anyone about the body.

DR. CHANG: [To Miles] He knows?

MILES: I'm sorry, sir. He--he was rooting around in the back, and he saw it.

HURLEY: Dude. I can keep a secret.

DR. CHANG: Well, you'd better... [Looking at Hurley's embroidered jumpsuit] "Hurley", 'cause if you think working in the kitchen is bad--

HURLEY: I like the kitchen.

DR. CHANG: Well, how do you feel about polar bear feces? Because if you breathe one word of this, I'll have you shipped to Hydra Island so you can weigh turds for their ridiculous experiments.

HURLEY: Gross.

[Dr. Chang sighs, then calls over to two men--evidently not construction workers, as they wear tan jumpsuits and no hardhats.]

DR. CHANG: You two! Get the package inside.

[The two men shuffle over to the van.]

DR. CHANG: [To Miles] And you? Stay here till I get back. You think you can handle that?

MILES: [Not looking at Dr. Chang] Yes, sir.

[Dr. Chang walks away.]

FIRST DHARMA INITIATIVE MAN: What the hell's he got, Jimmy Hoffa in here?



[A jackhammer sounds. The two men take the body away. Miles closes the hatchback. Hurley and Miles lean against the back of the van and look on as Dr. Chang berates a hard-hatted construction worker. They can just barely make out what he's saying from a distance, but it's not very nice.]

HURLEY: Dude, that guy's a total douche.

DR. CHANG: [To worker] Don't... [inaudible] You are not qualified to be touching that!...

MILES: That douche is my dad.

[Hurley looks at Miles.]

DR. CHANG: [Yelling at worker] What the hell do you think you're doing? What are you doing?!

[Miles looks at the ground.]

Act 4

[A darkened space. With a click, a light comes on, but it is only a small red light that barely illuminates anything, like an emergency light.]

MILES: You did say you were taking me out to dinner.

[Naomi and Miles round a corner. Naomi shines a flashlight, and finds a second switch.]

NAOMI: No, I said I was taking you to a restaurant.

[With the second click, more lights flick on. Empty shelves gather dust in the large kitchen of a deserted restaurant.]

MILES: You wanna tell me what's back here, sweetheart?

[Past rows of hanging pots and ovens, Naomi comes to some stainless steel counters and sinks. One of the tables has a man in a clear plastic body bag in it.]

NAOMI: Your audition.

[Naomi unzips the body bag while Miles keeps his distance.]

MILES: Look, whatever you got going on here, this isn't really my thing.

NAOMI: From what I understand, Miles, if the price is right, this is exactly your thing.

[Reaching into her jeans hip pocket, Naomi tosses a large wad of rubber-banded cash at Miles. He catches it and checks the values of the bills.]

NAOMI: So what can you tell me about this man?

[Miles pockets the money and steps up to the counter. He closes his eyes and nods his head a bit as if sniffing or sensing. Ghostly whispering, and a whoosh.]

MILES: His name's Felix. He was... on his way to deliver something to, uh...

[The whispering continues.]

MILES: A guy named... Wid-more.

NAOMI: Deliver what?

MILES: A bunch of papers, photos, pictures... of... [the whispering continues] empty graves. A purchase order... for an old airplane.

[Miles puts his head in his hands. Naomi zips up the body bag.]

MILES: [Sighs] So... did I pass?

NAOMI: I'm leading an expedition to an island, and on the island is a man that will be very difficult to find. That's why I need you.

MILES: Need me for what?

NAOMI: This island has a number of deceased individuals... residing on it, and as this man is the one responsible for their being deceased, we believe they can supply invaluable information as to his whereabouts.

MILES: As much as hunting down a mass murderer sounds really safe, uh, I'm--I'm gonna pass. Thanks for the audition.

[Miles turns to leave.]

NAOMI: My employer is willing to pay you $1.6 million.

[Miles stops and turns around.]

MILES: When do we leave?

[Naomi smiles.]

[At the Orchid site, Hurley sits on a cooler and unwraps a sandwich.]

HURLEY: [Gleefully] So anyway...

MILES: I don't want to talk about it.

HURLEY: Are you kidding me? How weird is it that your dad is that dude from all those movies? Only back then, he was called Marvin Candle. Was that, like, a stage name?

MILES: What part of "I don't want to talk about it" isn't sinking in?

HURLEY: Well, if you didn't want to talk about it, why'd you tell me? How long have you known he was your dad?

MILES: Third day we were here, I was on line at the cafeteria, and my mother got in line behind me. That was my first clue.

HURLEY: But all those DHARMA dudes end up dead. Don't you wanna... save him?

[Dr. Chang walks rankledly in the background.]

MILES: I can't save him! They're gonna get killed no matter what I do, so why bother?

[Dr. Chang comes up to Hurley and Miles. His white lab coat has a Swan logo on it.]

DR. CHANG: I need you to take me to Radzinsky at the work site. Immediately. You... Hurley--you say a word...

HURLEY: Polar bear poop. Got it.

MILES: What happened to the body?

DR. CHANG: What body?

[Dr. Chang gets in and shuts the door of the van.]

[Inside the schoolhouse, where janitor Jack is busy wiping clean the chalkboards filled with the day's lessons about Ancient Egyptian language, a door opens and Roger Linus enters with his janitor's cart.]

ROGER: This room is on my rounds. What are you doing here?

JACK: I figured I'd cover for ya. I heard what happened to your son.

ROGER: Which part--that he got shot or that someone kidnapped him from the Infirmary?

JACK: Then what are you doing here at work?

ROGER: What else am I gonna do? Sit around and pray that those idiots are gonna find my boy? So you can get outta here.

[Roger kicks Jack's mop bucket toward the door of the schoolhouse, sloshing water all over the floor. The bucket collides with the door, pushing it open. Roger grabs some cleaning supplies and angrily knocks a chair off its perch on top of a schooldesk. Jack starts mopping up the water.]

ROGER: You came in here a couple days ago with that woman Kate, right?

JACK: Yeah.

ROGER: You know her at all?

[Roger sprays some cleaner.]

JACK: Why?

ROGER: [Wiping a desktop] 'Cause she's got some... kinda weird thing for my kid. First, she shows up at the infirmary and gave him blood. But then when he goes missing, she comes to me and she says, "Don't worry. He's gonna be okay." I'm gonna tell you somethin', man. I'm beginning to think that she's got something to do with this. I should go to Horace, report her. What do you think?

[Jack slowly steps up to Roger, confrontationally.]

JACK: I think, Roger, that, uh, that you've had a hell of a day, and that... it's given you a very good excuse to go out and get drunk. Maybe that's put some--some crazy ideas into your head. I know that woman--Kate. She's my friend, and she would never do anything to hurt your son.

ROGER: Sure.

[Roger steps back to his janitor's cart, beer can in hand, and wheels it out of the schoolhouse.]

[The DHARMA van clatters along down a trail. Dr. Chang sits in the passenger's seat, and Hurley sits in the back seat.]

HURLEY: So I'm new here, Dr. Chang. What is it exactly you do at the Orchid?

DR. CHANG: It's classified.

HURLEY: Oh, really? You can't tell anyone? Not even your wife?


HURLEY: What about your kids?

DR. CHANG: I have a 3-month-old son, so, no, I haven't told him.

HURLEY: 3 months? Wow! Congrats. What's his name?

DR. CHANG: Miles.

HURLEY: Small world! That's your name, too. Right, Miles?

MILES: Yeah.

HURLEY: So are you a fan of jazz, Dr. Chang? Like Miles Davis?

DR. CHANG: My wife is. [Sighs] I like country.

[Miles looks away incredulously.]

HURLEY: So you two have been here for... three years now. Must be pretty tight, huh?

[Dr. Chang looks at Miles and only frowns.]

MILES: Dr. Chang and I... don't exactly travel in the same circles.

DR. CHANG: I wasn't aware there were circles.

HURLEY: Great. We should all... get together for a beer sometime. How awesome would that be?

[Dr. Chang says nothing, but then leans forward, seeing something.]

DR. CHANG: Stop here.

[Miles applies the brakes and turns off the engine. Dr. Chang gets out and approaches a wall of ivy foliage. He tinkers with the ivy, and metal rattles, the wall of foliage swinging open. It's a large, well-camouflaged chain-link gate.]

[Moments later, the van rolls down the gravel road of a construction site past a Case backhoe, where a hard-hatted man in a navy blue jumpsuit guards the path with a rifle. The man nods as they pass down the slope, swinging around a giant pit in the ground filled with gravel and eight similarly navy-jumpsuited construction workers, a concrete mixer, wheelbarrows, power generators, a crane on a metal tower, scaffolding, an elevator on a tripod leading into a shaft, barrels, pipes, spools of cable, and various other equipment. Two large square shafts emerge from the gravel-filled pit. The construction workers shout indistinctly to each other. The van pulls into the pit and the engine shuts off. Dr. Chang opens the door and gets out. He shuts the door.]

DR. CHANG: [To Miles] You don't need to wait. I'll get a ride back with Radzinsky.

[Dr. Chang walks away. Hurley climbs into the front seat.]

HURLEY: Dude, what is this place? And what's up with all the secrecy?

MILES: Don't know. Don't care.

[In the work site, a saw buzzes away, and men speak indistinctly to each other. At least one of the construction workers is a woman. One of the workers, a man, sets down a sturdy-looking metal hatch door inset with a glass window onto a work table. He shouts over to another worker who carries a clipboard.]

WORKER: Hey, Glenn! What's the serial number that goes on the hatch lid?

GLENN: 4, 8...

[The first worker picks up metal stamps and pounds them into the metal hatch lid with a heavy mallet, one by one.]

GLENN: 15...

[The mallet pounds twice.]

GLENN: 16...

[The mallet pounds twice.]

GLENN: 23...

[The mallet pounds twice.]

GLENN: Hold on a minute. It's smudged.


GLENN: 42.

[The mallet pounds twice.]

MILES: How the hell did you know that?

HURLEY: 'Cause they're building our hatch.

MILES: What hatch?

HURLEY: The one that crashed our plane.

Act 5

[At night, Miles accepts a take-out container from a taco stand called La Vida Tacos. Mariachi music plays from the taco stand--men sing a forlorn love song in Spanish.]

MILES: Thanks.

[Walking away from the stand, Miles opens the foam container and hungrily bites into a soft taco. As Miles passes a barbershop, a dark navy van pulls up, and the man in the passenger seat calls out to Miles.]

MAN IN VAN: Hey, Miles.

MILES: Do I know you?

[The van door slides open and two men wearing hoods and white cloth over the lower two-thirds of their faces jump out and grab Miles, who drops his dinner. They lift him right up off the ground and push him into the van. The door closes, the tires peal, and the van is away.]

[Inside the van as it drives, seated on the floor in the back, Miles looks around at his captors. The man in the passenger seat is turned around to look at Miles and gives a friendly wave.]

MAN IN VAN: [Amicably] Miles! My name's Bram.

MILES: You owe me a fish taco.

BRAM: Sorry about that, but your apartment's being watched. And we had to try our best to talk you out of working for Charles Widmore.

MILES: I have no idea who that is.

[Bram climbs out of his seat, positioning himself closer to Miles.]

BRAM: He's the man who chartered the boat you'll be getting on next week. And, my friend, you do not want to get on that boat. Do you know what lies in the shadow of the statue?

MILES: No, can't say that I do.

BRAM: Then you're not ready to go to that island. But if you come with us--all those things you've spent your life trying to find out? You'll know. You'll know who you are, Miles--why it is you have a gift, and most of all, you'll know about your father.

MILES: I don't know where you've been getting your intel, but I stopped caring about my father a long time ago. What I do care about is money. So, I'll tell you what. You want me to pass on going to the Island? It's gonna cost you double what they offered--$3.2 million.

BRAM: We're not paying you anything. All the money in the world isn't gonna fill that empty hole inside you, Miles.

[Bram climbs back into the front passenger seat.]

MILES: That's sad, isn't it?

BRAM: Toss him!

[The two masked men grab Miles by the shoulders, the van brakes in an empty street, the door opens, and Miles is summarily ejected from the van, landing on his feet. Bram calls out through his open window.]

BRAM: You're playing for the wrong team!

MILES: Yeah? What team are you on?

BRAM: The one that's gonna win.

[The van door slams shut, the engine revs, the tires peal, and the van is gone, leaving Miles alone.]

[At night, a blue DHARMA van motors along a dirt trail on the Island. Miles is driving, and Hurley continues to work in his composition book by the moonlight.]

HURLEY: That hatch they're building? There's gonna be an accident, then they're gonna have to build a computer with a button you have to push so the world doesn't end.

[Miles scoffs.]

HURLEY: So your dad... is he around... you know, when we came from? The future?


HURLEY: Well, then this is kind of awesome for you, huh?

MILES: How is it awesome?!

HURLEY: Because you get to hang out with him, you know, get to know him better and stuff.


HURLEY: And don't bother thanking me, but he was totally down for that beer, dude. You know, and maybe he'll let you hold baby you, or you can change your own diaper or--

[Miles slams on the brakes.]


MILES: Listen up, 'cause we're only gonna have this conversation once. Okay? I don't want to "hang out" with my dad. I don't want to "know him better"... "and stuff".

HURLEY: Why not? Did he beat you up when you were little or something?

MILES: He wasn't even around when I was little, you dimwit! I never knew him, until now. Why am I even telling you this?

HURLEY: 'Cause you're in pain and you need to let it out.

MILES: I'm not in pain! It doesn't matter. My father is dead! He's gone! He never cared about me, and nothing I can do will ever change that.

HURLEY: But he's not gone. We just dropped him off.

MILES: You want to get into my business?

[Miles snatches the composition book away from Hurley.]

MILES: Let's get into yours!

[Miles snatches Hurley's DHARMA Initiative-brand composition book from him.]

HURLEY: Give that back to me.

MILES: How about we read your little diary?

HURLEY: It's not a diary! It's personal!!

[Miles gets out of the van. Hurley gets out, chasing him.]

MILES: Let's see what's going on--

HURLEY: Give that--give that back to me.

MILES: --in that piece of granite you call a head.

HURLEY: Give it back!

MILES: "Exterior--Hoth. A little spy robot thingy zips through the atmosphere and crashes into the snowy planet below. That's when Chewbacca shows up and blasts it away with his crossbow laser. He shakes his fury fist in the sky in triumph. Chewbacca--Raaar."

HURLEY: [Embarrassedly] It's "furry." "Furry fist." I need a spell-check.

MILES: What the hell is this?

HURLEY: I'm writing Empire Strikes Back.

MILES: Uh... I'm sorry. What?

HURLEY: It's 1977, right?

[Miles nods.]

HURLEY: So Stars Wars just came out. And pretty soon, George Lucas is gonna be looking for a sequel. I've seen Empire, like, 200 times, so I figured I'd make life easier and send him the script... with a couple improvements.

MILES: That has gotta be the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

HURLEY: Oh, yeah? Well, at least I'm not scared to talk to my own dad.

[Hurley snatches his composition book back and gets back in the van.]

[Still night, Sawyer crosses past a hammock in the Barracks and opens the door to his house. He enters with a sigh and looks around.]

JULIET: James. You're back.

SAWYER: Barely. You ever had one of those days you feel like the little Dutch boy with your finger in the...

[Juliet indicates the other side of the room, where Jack stands quietly, holding a coffee mug.]

SAWYER: Doc. Hey. What's going on?

JACK: Ben's father thinks that Kate had something to do with his son going missing.

SAWYER: Why the hell would he think that?

[Jack looks to Juliet.]

JULIET: Because she talked to him, tried to make him feel better.

[Sawyer scoffs.]

JACK: Her heart was in the right place.

SAWYER: Yeah, well, where was her head?

JACK: I had a talk with Roger. I don't think he's gonna say anything to anyone for now. Just wanted you to know.

[Jack hands his empty coffee mug back to Juliet.]

JACK: [To Juliet] Thank you.


SAWYER: Yeah? Well... [sighs] thanks for filling me in, Doc.

JACK: No problem.

[Jack opens the door and goes out. Sawyer follows him a bit, watching Jack walk into the night. He puts his hands in his pockets, leans against a post, and sighs deeply. Phil walks up from the other direction, carrying a knapsack.]

PHIL: Hey, boss.


PHIL: We got a development. You better come to the office.

SAWYER: Phil, I've been running around the jungle all day, so whatever developments you got can wait a while.

PHIL: I know who took the kid.

SAWYER: Yeah? Who's that?

[Phil produces from the backpack and holds up a U-matic videocassette tape. Its label reads "DHARMA SURVEILLANCE TAPE GND-2398923-CTP4", has the numbers "621-41" written on it, and indicates it is from camera #4.]

PHIL: You.

SAWYER: Got a perfectly good explanation for what you saw on that tape.

PHIL: I sure as hell hope so.

[Sawyer motions inside the house and steps in. Phil follows. Sawyer closes the door behind them. Phil puts the tape back in the knapsack and puts it on the table.]

SAWYER: You talk to Horace yet?

PHIL: No. I thought that after three years of working together, I'd give you the benefit of the doubt--

[Sawyer throws his fist into Phil's face, sending Phil to the floor with a grunt, leaving him unconscious.]

SAWYER: [To Juliet] Get some rope.

[Sawyer sighs as he goes to pick up the unconscious Phil.]

Act 6

[Mr. Gray rakes up leaves and tree debris in his backyard. Miles Straume enters the yard carrying a large canvas duffel bag, fully packed.]

MILES: Mr. Gray? I hope you don't mind. Your gate was open.

[Mr. Gray beckons Miles in with a hand gesture. Miles sets his duffel bag down on Mr. Gray's picnic table.]

MR. GRAY: Mr. Straume. Of course. Of course. No problem. What, uh, what brings you by?

MILES: Well, sir, uh... I'm about to go on a boat trip for a while, and... I wanted to give this back to you.

[Miles hands Mr. Gray a folded brown envelope, which Mr. Gray opens to find the wad of hundreds he'd given Miles.]

MILES: I lied to you, Mr. Gray. I wasn't able to talk to your son.

[Miles picks up his duffel bag.]

MR. GRAY: Why are you telling me this? You could have just let me go on believing what you said.

MILES: That wouldn't have been fair to your son.

MR. GRAY: I'm sorry?

MILES: If you needed your son to know that you loved him, you should've told him when he was still alive.

[Miles walks away again.]

[At night, a blue DHARMA van pulls into the Barracks and comes to a stop at the Motor Pool. The engine turns off, and Miles and Hurley get out. Miles walks over to a key rack and hangs the keys to the van back up on their peg--peg 8 out of 16 total.]

HURLEY: Sorry I said you were afraid to talk to your dad, dude.

MILES: Don't worry about it.

[Miles finds the appropriate line on the sign-out sheet hanging next to the key rack and signs the van back in. Hurley removes the gas cap from the van and begins to refuel the vehicle.]

HURLEY: I used to hate my dad, too.

MILES: Yeah?

HURLEY: He left when I was 10. But the best thing I ever did was give him a second chance. We got to be the best of friends, and although I may never see him again, I miss him. And I know he feels the same.

MILES: My dad didn't leave when I was 10. I--I was a baby. I never knew him. And I don't want to. It's not happening.

[Hurley removes the gas pump and recaps the van's fuel port.]

HURLEY: That was Luke's attitude, too.

MILES: What?

HURLEY: In Empire, Luke found out Vader was his father, but instead of putting away his lightsaber and talking about it, he overreacted and got his hand cut off. I mean, they worked it out eventually, but at what cost? Another Death Star was destroyed, Boba Fett got eaten by the Sarlacc, and we got the Ewoks. It all could've been avoided if they'd just, you know, communicated. And let's face it. The Ewoks sucked, dude.

[Hurley walks away. Miles, hands in his pockets, walks through the Barracks to the home of Dr. Chang. Looking in through the window, he sees Dr. Chang sitting in a chair holding the infant Miles as they page through a picture book, Me and My Polar Bear, together, the father pointing excitedly to the picutres.]

DR. CHANG: [Gasps] Wow! Oh, wow!

[Watching this scene, the adult Miles curls up his face briefly, and starts to choke up, as the telephone rings inside the house. Miles's mother answers the phone.]

LARA: Hello? Oh, one moment. It's for you.

[Lara tries to hand the phone to Dr. Chang, but it is impossible with Miles on his lap, so she sets the phone down as Dr. Chang kisses his boy and passes him off to his mother. He closes the book, stands up, and picks up the phone.]

DR. CHANG: Hello? All right. I'll be right there.

[Dr. Chang sets down the receiver and walks off, as Lara holds baby Miles in the background. The adult Miles watches this entire scene through the window unabashedly. When the Chang house door opens and Dr. Chang steps outside, putting on his coat, Miles turns quickly away and starts to go.]

DR. CHANG: Miles! I need you.

[Miles turns back around.]

MILES: You do?

DR. CHANG: Sub's here from H.Q. I need your help bringing them in.

MILES: Sure. New recruits?

DR. CHANG: No, uh, scientists from Ann Arbor. Get your van, and let's get to the dock.

[A row of lamps on poles illuminate the dock in the darkness of night. A DHARMA dockworker throws a rope down on the deck of the docked submarine. Miles walks down the dock past some unloaded cargo. Behind him, a clipboard-checklisting Radzinsky, Dr. Chang, and other men and women on the dock carry out indistinct conversations. Miles takes a red suitcase from a female scientist in a black jumpsuit and helps her step down from the submarine deck onto the dock. A valise is pushed up from the submarine hatch and the man in the hatch calls out.]

MAN: [Sighs] Hey, can I get a hand with this?

MILES: [Setting down the female scientist's suitcase] Yeah, yeah, sure.

[Miles picks up the valise from the submarine deck and looks as the man inside climbs out. Daniel Faraday, dressed in a fitted black DHARMA Initiative jumpsuit and boots, looks around.]


FARADAY: Hey, Miles. Long time no see.

[L O S T]


This article uses material from the "Some Like It Hoth transcript" article on the Lostpedia wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.


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